White coat. Heels.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
