Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
