alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
