Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
