The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
