i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
