bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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