If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize