people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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