Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
