this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
