Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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