That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
