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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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