I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
