we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
