After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
