Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
We need to rekindle our bromance
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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