btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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