i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm always down for nudity.
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