that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
