FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
