Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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