Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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