Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
