We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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