What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
