Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.

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(760): View more from California

Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe

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(386): View more from Florida

I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.

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(315): View more from New York

i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.

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(256): View more from Alabama

No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.

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(913): View more from Kansas

Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I learned so much in Pittsburgh

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(661): View more from California

Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?

(909): View more from California

You bit me

(661): View more from California

Oh lord I need to hear this story

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