did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I stole a fireplace last night.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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