i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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