To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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