no, he came in my armpit
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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