I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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