I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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