...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
