I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
