There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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