WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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