if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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