please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
