He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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