I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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