Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
