time to smoke my breakfast
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
worst night to have a conscience
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
