Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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