Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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