so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
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