do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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