nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
