I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
someone owes me an orgasm
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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