Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I think i got beer on your cat.
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