I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
