singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
